my landlord is a creep. he wants me to clean behind the oven and the refridgerator. i'm going to have to wash my pink hair in the stainless steel sink so i don't tint the shower a lovely magenta hue. and although my room is archetectually beautiful, the bed is a small twin, which means it's either reallyclosetogethertight nights or i'llsleeponthecouch and youcantakemylittlebed. i'm afraid that he's dance-proofed the apartment and i can't yell over 2.3 decibels.

p.s. i am not going to vacuum the rug twice every week. the reason why you DON'T have a girlfriend is because you are an anal retentive with OCD complexes that a psychologist would have a field day with examining.

oh. and the linoleum of the kitchen floor is so spotless, i could midwife 13 babies and the place would still be sterile.

ridiculous.

prove me wrong.