i can't help the fact that i'm here, alone with my big bed and he's there, hanging out with my natalie and tami.

it stings a bit.

i suppose the paychecks are worth it. the last one will be about 800 dollars, and i fuckin' earned every penny of it.

i'm taking next monday off to pick up the two traveling girls at the manchester bus stop despite what time they come home.

and the next friday after that. probably to go to vermont to visit my grandmother or possibly go to birkfest with ami. i dunno. i dig some of the acid jazz/folk/soul bands that'll be playing, but the whole "walking around naked hippie thing" just doesn't move me. i think nakedness is something more sacred than public display. shrug. maybe i'm not as liberal as i thought.

this friday is elissa, rich and jays' band's show in lowell. i think i'm going with carla.

saturday i'll visit lindsey and maybe bethany---plus, shannon comes back from vacation as well.

sunday, i hope to meet evan in portsmouth, and if susan contacts me, which she hasn't yet but i wish she would, i'll stop by and give her a hug that i've owed her for over a year.

3 more weeks of work. then i move in on august 24. i should have a housewarming party. fuck. everyone's leaving in a couple of weeks. (don't let it hit me yet)

sometimes growing up sucks.

prove me wrong.