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2002-11-12 - 4:32 p.m.
do you know what it means to feel nothing? i'm fine. no tears, and no need to scream or laugh or collapse. just nothing. an emptiness i've been trying to fill for what feels like forever, especially the past few months. at night, i hear four lips crashing. and it's through a wall that doesn't enclose me but shuts me out, proves to me that i am with me and no one else. i can handle that. the ache and the slight jealousy. but i need to be selfish and want it as well. i think i need it more than i can understand. i'm holding on tightly to everything.
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