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2002-12-10 - 11:04 p.m.
sigh. it's nearing towards the end of the semester, and i can't wait for it. to see ami as often as i want to...having boston 50 minutes away instead of like. 1.45 or so. maybe i'll finally hit up some shows. visit dante (!!) and lloyd and maybe some other kids i haven't been able to see in a long, long time. i passed in my women studies final paper---which was the zine, "decolletage" we made. i have some extra copies (not many--about 15 or so) so if you want one lemme know: iamabrokentoy@hotmail.com and i also had my very last english class, which was. so relieving. i hope i did well on my final portfolio. now i have two more exams--astronomy and spanish---both on thursday, the 19th. i can't believe my birthday is coming up. i feel so old. i'm not in the mood to be poetic with my words tonight. today was somewhat disheartening, but i'm probably overanalyzing the situation. i really should just tell him i like him, but it's not only that that is a scary thing to do, or that i haven't said it in a while, but also i'm not in the mood to get an unhappy response to it. i don't know if i should give up or press on. it's really hard when you live in your mind too much, thinking of everything until it bleeds with the details you amplify. so dangerous. now i'm listening to "into dust" by mazzy star and it reminds me of that scene in 'foxfire' where they are all. tattooing each other and being shirtless and all sensual with the candles. girls don't do that when they hang out. they go shopping for clothes and talk about boys and dance around the kitchen. they don't chill in a forest topless and sensual. but regardless, the song is really sexy. goddamn these past days i've had a real craving for phone sex. i can't explain it, but i need a fix. grarrrrarar.
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