i really miss the road trips lizz and i took in my shitty red convertible that wouldn't start every time but it was amazing anyways. we went everywhere and with everyone, feet hanging out of the window and ani blasting, singing along, hair messy and windblown.

i miss talking on the phone really late at night with a boy. and having them wake me up when they get in from a show at 3 am. to talk groggily and bleary eyed about each others' days.

i miss sleepovers where we giggled and shared the same bed and staying up late then which is early now and watching movies that scared the shit out of us (hiding under blankets grabbing onto sweaty palms).

i miss letting myself not worry. and try to be so strong all the time. i used to be really weak. and intimated by lots of people. i'm glad that i can now stand tall and up for myself but the other day someone called me "untouchable...like. unattainable. you're so stand-offish sometimes. like i couldn't get close."

i need to fix that.

i really do.

prove me wrong.