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2004-10-05 - 3:58 p.m.
it's been a while since i've written. and even longer since i've cried. i'm not sure if i miss either that much, which scares the hell out of me. have i become cold to myself? do i shut out what i used to revel in and fill that void with something less meaningful or maybe just as meaningful, yet different? i feel fall in my bones and it comforts me. i drink apple cider and eat pumpkin muffins and wonder how long it'll take before all of the leaves fall and we are left with barren branches and crunchy streets. i feel old and tired. run-down, sometimes, and still fulfilled. i'm surrounded with love and loss and it's a dichotomy that perplexes and astounds me. i'm forever questioning myself and everything. i'm growing up and growing apart. i'm coming together and coming undone. i'm learning and i'm learning and i'm learning. prove me wrong. |